I am not a booking agent

Today I received what has to be one of the most random emails ever. It wasn’t
spam in the sense that it was offering me viagra or something along those
lines, but it was spam in the sense that I haven’t signed up to any lists that
should send me this kind of thing.

I’ve posted the email at the bottom of this post, but basically it was an
email that was sent out advertising “celebrities” (and when you read the email
you’ll see why I put the quotes in) that will come and do “performances”
(known in the industry as “PAs”).

Now, let me explain why this is random. I am not a booking agent. For
anywhere. I work part time in a students’ union
nightclub but I definately don’t work on the events
team. So how they even got my email address I have no idea as the one it got
sent to has nothing to do with that place.

So if there are any PR companies out there who are trying to get their
“celebrity” acts on stage, please do not email me. Ever. There is no point.
Especially if you’re trying to market them by the fact that they are cheap.
Because that would make me want to book them even less.

Here’s the email I got sent:

Dear All

With the credit crunch amongst us, its always good to know that some acts wont
exactly break the bank, but will still be a great attraction for your
customers! Some of the acts that I am putting out for £1000 or less are
listed below! Let me know if any of these take your interest and I can give
you more details!

SKINS – THOMAS/NAOMI Thomas or Naomi from the hit TV show ‘Skins’ are available on their own for a personal appearance within this price bracket! The show is proving such a hit this year on E4 that it will be debuting on Channel 4 very shortly!! The perfect student PA!
SHIPWRECKED Available in a variety of groups, Shipwrecked is still a massive draw, pulling in the viewers every Sunday on T4 and repeated on the Saturday. A perfect PA for students and under 18’s and is one of our most popular PA’s.
SCOTT ROBINSON – 5IVE GREATEST HITS SET He came third on Celebrity Scissorhands, was one fifth of the massive 5IVE, and is available to sing all their Greatest hits plus a meet & greet. A huge attraction who is constantly rebooked! Will sing all the hits including the number one singles ‘Keep on Moving’ and ‘If ya Getting down’.
BRADLEY MCINTOSH – SCLUB 7 JO OMEARA – SCLUB 7 Both S Club 7 stars are available for solo shows consiting of original material & S Club numbers. Following the success of S Club 3, their profile is currently sky high!
CHRIS BROOKS/DES PAUL – CAPITAL FM Both Chris Brooks & Des Paul from Londons prestigious Capital FM are available for DJ sets either together or solely. A perfect addition for any London nightclub or surrounding suburb.
ACTS UNDER £300 I have a selection of high quality girlbands and solo acts available for promo fees, for more information please ask!
Many Thanks

Matt Wynter

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